Rule number one for now to have a casual relationship without getting hurt is know yourself. The 20-something narrative seems to be increasingly obsessed with figuring things out and self-exploration. You're not in a monogamous relationship, so don't limit yourself like an old married person. I, as the resident over-emotional sap here at Justdate, have finally learned to be okay with casual relationships. With casual relationships, there are much fewer, and they don't carry nearly as much weight. I mean, yes, there is a one in a million chance that the guy or girl you occasionally see on the weekends for some casual hangs and condom sex could be the one, but you can't think like that if you want to survive the casual dating scene. Gone are the days of settling down, getting married at 22, and having kids years before you hit thirty. The reason for the rise in casual dating is because more people are putting themselves and their careers first, so you should be doing the same. However, this new casual social norm has indeed taken its toll on the emotional and hopeless romantics of the world. 4. So, even in your casual relationships make sure you're treating the other person with the utmost respect. An option that might in fact work. You can’t be faulted for honesty. Is Your Casual Relationship Holding You Back From Finding Love? Sure, you're in a place in your life when you are the most important person in your life. While it might be tempting to talk to this person all day every day, you need to keep this casual relationship in its casual relationship box. This is casual remember. In a serious relationship, you should want to have your serious boyfriend or girlfriend bond with your friends. Not impossible, but a huge risk to hold onto that idea. Make sure you're communicating clearly and voicing what you want and need out of respect for what they need. As far as serious relationships go there are milestones. Of course, it goes without saying that any s3x you have with this person should be ultra-safe. Be honest, open, and don’t hope for more than promised. One perk of a “relationship-relationship” is that you’re allowed to drag your significant other to events that they’d never go to otherwise. It’s rare that a casual relationship becomes a great love affair. 5 Tips for Surviving Halloween Like a Boss. While you should have a few booty calls on your phone at all times, you need to remember that the people that you're casually dating aren't the kind of individuals you strictly have casual sex with. Shocking, I know. Casual relationships are just that: casual. I haven’t been in a ton of casual relationships, but the few that I have taken part in have been enjoyable while they’ve lasted. If you can't navigate the 21st-century dating scene without getting your feelings hurt on the regular, this guide is a … And you will probably find yourself developing a crush. Be honest with yourself and know when it’s time to walk away. This will keep the conversation on what's important: casual dates, limiting feelings, and getting laid. And when they're sick, make sure to cancel plans or feign a busy schedule at the very least. Are you both strictly looking for something casual? At some point you’ll need to move on with your life, and they will theirs. You shouldn't have any pre-conceived notions that your lover is under any obligation to treat you as anything more than a friend or a casual lover. Setting boundaries is just as important in casual relationships as it is with serious relationships. They're not even adult sleepover material. But make sure you do have the occasional booty call. These things tend to be life changing and that’s not the point of an arrangement such as this. This of course is also very tough to pull off — particularly the longer you’re seeing each other — but it’s certainly key. The best way to keep casual relationships from getting messy and ending in a screaming match is to keep in mind that this relationship isn't all about you. You rely on one another emotionally, albeit very minimally, and have regular, protected, sex with. However, when he expressed he was looking for casual relationship. News All Rights Reserved, See Stunning pictures Of Nollywood Celebrities Who Met Their Marriage Partners On Movie Sets, 15 Beautiful photos of 20yr old actress, Regina Daniels playing with her son, See photos of Destiny Etiko with Small-sized Nollywood actor Osita Iheme and other actors. You aren't in a serious relationship, so don't expect serious-relationship-level favors. Once things start to feel like a chore, the fun is over. The casual relationship is enjoyable because you get to spend time with someone you enjoy and are attracted to, but aren’t ready to completely let in your dark and tortured soul. You should reserve dinner with the parents to people who are straight-up keepers. I like to define serious relationships as the kind where you are willing to give 60% to an expected 40% of effort to your partner. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. Casual relationships might not be for everyone, but the extended fling can really be a boon to one’s everyday existence if done in a responsible and mature manner. However, you shouldn't lose sight of how your actions affect those around you. While we look around at all of our friends who are casual dating, everyone always has that one friend who has had a boyfriend for five years and is engaged. This halts the momentum, and allows you to take the week to focus on whatever it is you need to focus on. Those of us who wouldn't mind having a serious partner in our 20's are usually left confused and often heartbroken during this time of our lives. However, you shouldn't want this for a casual relationship as they're your friends. STIs and pregnancy aren’t things that go well in casual relationships. With that in mind, here are some tidbits of possibly helpful advice: Probably the most important rule by far. You should therefore be able to be yourself (if you’re a guy, admit your love of rom-coms), but also avoid projecting those qualities in a way that supersedes the boundaries of the agreement. That’s what it is, an arrangement that means you spend time with someone, with no promise of an emotional attachment. Have a discussion about what you want. When you're in a casual relationship, you should have very little obligation to your lover. You can find some comfort in reading this list knowing that it comes from someone just as emotional as you, my hopeless romantic reader. Tell them what you’re looking for before any feelings get hurt. Booty calls are people you would much rather have sex with than talk to. Again, when you're in a casual relationship, you're going to want to limit the coupley behavior. So put yourself first. Practicing radical honesty will both protect your feelings and the feelings of your partner, as you can make one another aware of your expectations and actions. What do you want and need sexually? The biggest thing that gets the serial monogamist into deep, emotional turmoil is high expectations. Maybe trying this will help me get back on top … You're supposed to take risks, never stay in one spot for too long, and keep everything casual - especially when it comes to your relationships. Introducing your lover to your friends is much more of a serious milestone. When you're in your early 20's, it is expected that you live wild and free. The first step to catching feelings is dwelling on the "what if's." Texting and social media make it easy to talk to someone all the time. If you're in the market for something casual it's unfair to the other person to dare form these connections. This way you know exactly what to expect from your partner, and they know what to expect from you. Not every relationship is destined for joint bank accounts, and taking a step back — particularly after a breakup or in the midst of intense career or personal obligation — can really be a positive thing for all parties involved. I went out with a guy for two weeks, the chemistry, mindset, communication, everything was effortless and aligned. However, if you want to stick to the casual stuff make sure you're having sex anytime you spend the night. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. You don't want them becoming friends with your friends. The old adage goes “talking about keeping it casual effectively means that it’s no longer casual.” This is definitely true, but I think that maintaining a casual relationship, over the course of a few months, does require a good deal of communication. As a hopeless romantic or someone with a semblance of emotions, you might find it hard to keep feelings and sex apart. Here is the hopeless romantic's comprehensive guide to casual dating. Be casual with your body as well as your dating life. Understanding how to have a casual relationship without getting hurt really comes down to knowing yourself and your limits. If you start to feel the bubble of emotion, do yourself a favor and quit while ahead. The best casual relationships are those based on mutual respect for one another, what the other wants and needs from a relationship.

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